On The Eve Of 500

[New Publication Launch And A Big Thank You]

As of writing I’m at 494 subscribers and I expect to hit the big five-five-zero within a week. The Journal recently passed the 100 articles mark as well; last month’s survey was article #100.

I vowed not to celebrate too often early in my Substack journey because these are insignificant numbers compared to the big fish on this platform and a drop of rain in a swimming pool compared to the followings you see on places like YouTube but 500 is one of those milestones I wanted to commemorate. Last June I hit 100 and mused that I expected to see 150 subscribers by December that year. The actual number was 300. Periodically, I try to look up what 500 people looks like in a room or imagine several university auditoriums filled with my readers but the number does not compute, it’s almost too large to imagine.

I’ve endeavoured to make this publication about the games that I cover and not about Scanlines the person but I want you to know that this has changed my life for the better. For the first time in years, I’m moving forward again and I feel like I can succeed at things.

From 2021 to 2023 I saw myself reduced from the best shape of my life, a student at a top UK Uni, a daily writer, someone with friends and connections, a man on the cusp of being baptised after a year of catechisms and a driven, motivated, hardworking person to a pathetic mess. By the time I began this Substack, I hadn’t been outside for anything longer than a shop run for more than a year, my muscle had disintegrated, I’d never been heavier and a diet of junk food, 3-4 energy drinks a day and a vampiric lifestyle had me wheezing, coughing and chafing where I once ran and walked and laughed. I must have had about 200 ignored or rejected job applications in my inbox.

Obviously, I was depressed. Not the romantic kind of depression where a few stickers on your bathroom mirror, positive affirmations and a walk in nature can fix it either, I mean the kind that eats you up inside, the kind where you relive those painful moments again and again, the kind where you hope it’s over soon… but this isn’t a sob story.

As the months rolled by, writing for this Substack re-engendered a sense of discipline in me; I have too much to pride to post Notes apologising for delays every week, so I made the posts happen, day in and day out no matter what. After not having written for a couple of years I didn’t just begin to get back into the flow but actually started to enjoy writing for the first time in a long time. The subscribers and the reads did eventually come and I have to say, for anyone that reads but doesn’t write or is in the early stages of gathering an audience… it changes you. I can’t see a long article, a huge video or any kind of media now without feeling a lot of compassion for the man hours it takes to put something like that together.

This is getting embarrassing, I hate writing about myself. I can’t stand anime, there, the rage-bait should throw some people down to the comments and away from my inner-most thoughts.

Writing Scanlines’ Journal has given me back part of my soul. Writing again has put me back in touch with me: the real me, the discipline my wonderful audience encouraged has translated into me not just building this platform but returning to the gym and getting my health back on track as well; knowing what I’ve built here has given me the confidence that I can succeed at things again when I assumed I was going to suffer some kind of medical catastrophe someday and be forgotten. Now I feel that I might still be of use after all. I’ve never been more talkative, social and open then I am now and people notice too, I have so many random conversations in public that I’m starting to wonder if I’m the only one in this city that won’t admit I’m Scanlines from Substack; my strength is returning and I can run long distances like I haven’t done for years. Stronger mind, stronger body, more uplifted spirit.

I have you to thank for all this: my audience. If you weren’t here, I wouldn’t be writing this publication. If it wasn’t for you, nothing would have changed and thanks to you, I’m in a position where I can not only tolerate being in my own skin but I’m beginning to like the guy I am, so thank you all, I hope you get as much out of this blog as I do.

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A New Frontier

It’s been my dream ever since I was a kid to have my own novel and/or fiction published in-print and with Scanlines’ Journal in a thriving position right now I feel it’s time to get to work on another project; you’ll still be seeing articles in your inbox every Saturday but now, I will be running a second publication.

As of now I’m launching Blood Cosmos: the final culmination of set of science fictions stories I’ve been writing on and off since the age of about 11 and the best bit? Part 1/4 of my first story is available to read right now. I’m not expecting you to hop over and subscribe to the second publication just because I’ve written it and I’m thinking of it as an entirely new start rather than an addition to what I’ve built here but if you want a taste of my storytelling (after I’ve spent more than a year ripping into others’ in video games) and enjoy a spot of science fiction then I encourage you to check it out; I aim to release a new episode every Sunday with a strict 3000 word limit, so these won’t be gargantuan like some of my reviews.

Blood Cosmos: Flight of the Midnight Blue I

During last month’s poll it was made clear that people were more interested in buying something like a book rather than paying for posts so I’d like to make clear my intention to release these stories as actual, physical books once they’re done. I don’t know how this is done or what that entails but it’s about time I stopped dreaming about publishing and actually do it.

I’ve chosen ‘Lawrence Lichfield’ as my pen name so if you like, you can call me Lawrence instead of the name for lines of pixels from an electron beam on an old CRT display.

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Thank you very much for reading to the end. The majority of my readers don’t leave a like on their way out so I’d really appreciate it if you did, it does wonders for the publication.

Be sure to subscribe for more articles just like this one and please consider a monthly subscription or one-time donation to my Ko-Fi page via the ‘Support Scanlines’ button below.