Recording Video Game Death Noises Is My Dream Job

A celebration of the best grunts, groans and game overs

Stalin once said ‘A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths in multiplayer is hilarity.’ Or something like that.

Dying in a video game doesn’t have to represent failure, lost progress or necessitate a crude remark under your breath, often, it can be hilarious; this is a sentiment that I’m sure other gamers understand but would likely send me to The Hague if uttered in real life.

Let’s start with something light: Mario.

In case the idea of laughing at death makes you uncomfortable, I’d like to remind you that 2 of the most recognisable and enduring sound effects and memes in gaming are, in-fact, death noises from the little red plumber. One of these is the iconic game over jingle and another is this masterpiece.

I refuse to believe there’s any Nintendo fan on the planet, or anyone who enjoys platformers who at some point, inebriated or not has not attempted to recreate this sound. It’s hilarious, it cracks me up whenever I hear it. This is the gold standard for video game deaths.

Another favourite of mine and one I’m sure many players have experienced a million times is the death screen from Dark Souls. While it can certainly provoke fury with its drawn out, all-caps lettering and the loading screen thereafter, it has become iconic and the star of many internet funnies.

It’s simple yet somehow sneering. There’s no jingle, no sense of conciliation, it tells you in no uncertain terms: YOU DIED, YOU LOST, YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT THIS GAME. Delivered with a weighty, ethereal thud sound.

Another absolute classic that seems to have lived on in Gen-Z and Gen-A brainrot is Solid Snake’s death sound from the best PlayStation game: Metal Gear Solid. I’m sure you’re all familiar but let’s replay it.

The growling, gravely roar, the slick neon letters, the Colonel’s Bizarre voice crack, this is a classic.

These are good, iconic even but I’d like to begin climbing the summit now; to start searching for the absolute funniest, most stupid, most over the top death sounds there are and in the spirit of this, I invite you to lend your ear to the goons from Max Payne who in a crime noir, gritty, violent setting were programmed to die in such a fashion by Remedy Entertainment that I legitimately choked on my drink the first time I heard them give up the ghost.

What a masterpiece. The Nintendo 64-esque faces, the pained groans reminiscent of an IBS attack on a long bus ride, the whiny tone, the stark contrast to the bleak setting. When the conversation comes up about games being considered art, the goons’ death sounds from Max Payne need to be involved in the discussion.

We are close to the peak with Max Payne but for me? The very summit of the stupid death noise mountain is a little game called Red Faction.

Red Faction is an FPS that launched in 2001 and I’ve always felt the game was given a really unfair shake. Sure, it has some terrible vehicle sections and a couple of horrendous forced stealth sequences but the geo-mod system allowing for destructible environments, the game’s weapons and interesting premise about a miner revolt on the surface of Mars provide a pretty compelling experience; it has been compared unfavourably to the original Half Life but to be honest? I don’t see how they’re that alike and I’ve never been a fan of Half Life so I don’t care much anyway.

I’m not here to review the game though, I’m here to share the absolute masterpiece that is the game’s array of guard quotes and noises.

I’ve taken the liberty of skipping forward to the funniest ones but the entire video is a gold mine, from the guards’ hammy voice acting and stupid quotes (“I’m sorry, really sorry!”) to their absolutely hilarious screams that audibly distort the ancient audio equipment they were likely recorded on, Red Faction is king of the world of funny death noises.

Obviously a big reason I wrote this post was to laugh at some funny noises and see if anybody else shares my type of humour; I would also love to hear some of your suggestions for this list, one of my favourite parts of last week’s command and conquer post was reading comments about dearly cherished memories, but more than that, I did this to make a point: games should make us feel good more often than not.

I’m not saying there isn’t a place for tragedy and sadness and serious themes in gaming but it feels like that’s all we get lately; I love dark chocolate but I can’t devour a 70% cocoa easter egg in one sitting the same way I can a milk chocolate one, I hope that’s an analogy that makes sense to you all.

In a world of Rambo: First Bloods and John Rambos, sometimes, I just want to play a game that’s like Predator, that makes me grin and feel like Schwarzenegger instead.

I’d love to chat down in the comments, don’t forget to like and share this post and please consider supporting me on Patreon.